Over the past few weeks I have questioned many of the decisions I have made for 2016 so far. Why did I sign up to do a double degree? Why am I going to London? Why does every relationship I get involved in turn pear shaped? You get the picture…
It probably doesn’t come as any surprise that the expectations I place on myself are high. Being a perfectionist doesn’t assist with fast progress, as I will labour over a task until I get it to a standard I am happy with.
When it was announced that my first Law exam was an open book exam I released a inward cheer. This was silenced when I thought of the pages of notes I’d written, handouts I’d printed and the thickness of my text books. How on earth was I to sift through all of those words to find the appropriate ones and answer all of the questions in time?
I spent days studying, rewriting notes, rereading chapters, and marking important points with sticky notes (colour coded according to the week in which the topic was covered in lectures and tutorials). Even though I was prepared when I sat down to take the test I was nervous.
The preparation paid off. I completed my exam in under a third of the time issued and didn’t consult my notes or text books once.
Checking my results online, I prepared myself for the worst. I expected to pass, but by how much I wasn’t sure. When I saw 100% show up against the assessment I burst into tears. Still shaking, I shut down my computer and sat starting at the blank screen for a few minutes.
It was then that I realised I need not doubt myself so much all of the time. This time I scored a perfect score, but would I be any worse off if that result had been eighty or ninety percent? I think not.
Over a glass of wine, and a few chocolate eggs with my daughters (milk for the one who’s under age) I thought of other areas in my life I’ve been stressing about and realised that the only way to overcome those worries is to take action and make a conscious effort to achieve the result I desire.
So, for me, this weekend is about taking action!
I hope you have a fabulous extra long weekend, celebrating in a way that is true to you.