How to end an Unfinished Chapter

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Has there ever been a point in your life when unfinished business seemed to be holding you back? No matter how hard you tried to push a thought from your mind only to hear a familiar song that triggered the thought to life again?

When I came across this quote today it acted as a trigger, like a familiar song. An old wound, I believed to be healed, reopened and threatened to take hold of the fractured pieces of my heart.

Besides the fact that I was in the middle of a cafe, during the lunchtime rush hour, I had no desire to make a spectacle of myself by bursting into tears for, what would seem, no reason. Not to mention that I am sick of entertaining something I have absolutely no control over, no matter how hard I try to rationalise the situation.

Through writing, meditation, reiki and hours of pondering every conceivable reason as to what went wrong, what could I have done to change our path, or why wasn’t I enough, I held onto one conclusion…perhaps it wasn’t me at all.

I’m not going to lie about the tears I shed. Or, the hours I spent ripping myself to shreds for being a failure. Or, declaring myself unlovable and a dud in the world of singles. Loving someone, being rejected and getting your heartbroken is not something anyone should be ashamed of. I would prefer to love and risk hurt, than to fear love and risk a life of loneliness.

So, after a few weeks…okay, nearly two months, but who’s counting 😉 …I decided that the only way I was going to move forward was if I left the past where it belonged and, instead, relish in the moment and be present. Only then did my path, that had momentarily become blurred, return to focus.

The lesson I learned from this otherwise devastating experience was that, no matter what, I am worth an explanation…and even if a chapter does end on a cliffhanger, another is set to follow if I just keep moving forward.

Don’t underestimate your value…you are worth so much more than that!

Renee x

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2 thoughts on “How to end an Unfinished Chapter

  1. Beautifully written Renee. I felt so with tou in that moment in the cafe. Of all the people i met at RWA last year, you were the one person that truly stood out. I only spent a short time with you but i saw you numerous times over the few days and i was left thinking, look at that bloody woman! Tough, driven, clever and determined. That’s something to aspire to and i made a note of your name as someone to watch because i had a feeling you were on a path to great things. Not everyone on our journey, for one reason or another (and mostly for their own reasons that have nothing to do with us) sees our worth, but believe me for everyone one of them there are 100 others watching in awe and quietly thinking how fabulous you are. Fellow women unite! You are totally worth an explanation and we see your worth.

    Liked by 1 person

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