Has there ever been a point in your life when unfinished business seemed to be holding you back? No matter how hard you tried to push a thought from your mind only to hear a familiar song that triggered the thought to life again?
When I came across this quote today it acted as a trigger, like a familiar song. An old wound, I believed to be healed, reopened and threatened to take hold of the fractured pieces of my heart.
Besides the fact that I was in the middle of a cafe, during the lunchtime rush hour, I had no desire to make a spectacle of myself by bursting into tears for, what would seem, no reason. Not to mention that I am sick of entertaining something I have absolutely no control over, no matter how hard I try to rationalise the situation.
Through writing, meditation, reiki and hours of pondering every conceivable reason as to what went wrong, what could I have done to change our path, or why wasn’t I enough, I held onto one conclusion…perhaps it wasn’t me at all.
I’m not going to lie about the tears I shed. Or, the hours I spent ripping myself to shreds for being a failure. Or, declaring myself unlovable and a dud in the world of singles. Loving someone, being rejected and getting your heartbroken is not something anyone should be ashamed of. I would prefer to love and risk hurt, than to fear love and risk a life of loneliness.
So, after a few weeks…okay, nearly two months, but who’s counting 😉 …I decided that the only way I was going to move forward was if I left the past where it belonged and, instead, relish in the moment and be present. Only then did my path, that had momentarily become blurred, return to focus.
The lesson I learned from this otherwise devastating experience was that, no matter what, I am worth an explanation…and even if a chapter does end on a cliffhanger, another is set to follow if I just keep moving forward.
Don’t underestimate your value…you are worth so much more than that!